Showing posts with label Love Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Story. Show all posts

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Tun Dr Mahathir & Tun Dr Siti Hasmah, A Love Story

Tun Dr Mahathir & Tun Dr Siti Hasmah , Love story

BUKAN mudah mengahwini insan ternama. Apa saja yang dilakukan pasangan, pasti tempiasnya terkena jua. Namun, bak kata orang, jika takut dilambung ombak, jangan berumah di tepi pantai. Mungkin itulah pegangan bekas Wanita Pertama Malaysia, Tun Dr Siti Hasmah Mohd Ali.
Bersuamikan orang politik, apatah pula suaminya, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad pernah memegang memegang portfolio tertinggi sebagai orang nombor satu negara, bermakna beliau perlu bersedia berkorban masa dan tenaga.
“Saya fikir, saya mampu memahami kerjaya suami sebagai ahli politik kerana kami sama-sama bermula sebagai doktor. Kerjaya ini (doktor) ada kalanya menyebabkan suami perlu balik lambat, tetapi saya memahami kerana saya juga seorang doktor. Apapun, kita harus percaya dan bertoleransi dengan suami. Jangan cemburu tanpa sebab. Apa yang penting, biar sesibuk mana sekalipun, kita perlu cari masa untuk meluangkan masa bersama pasangan dan anak,”katanya ketika ditemui, baru-baru ini.
Dalam hubungan ini, Dr Mahathir akui, meskipun isterinya reda dan tabah mengharungi pelbagai cabaran bersamanya, sebagai suami perasaan bersalah tetap ada, terutama apabila meninggalkan isteri sendirian bersama anak. Antara kenangan tidak dapat dilupakannya apabila beliau dalam dilema terpaksa memilih antara berada di sisi isterinya menyambut kelahiran anak mereka, atau menghadiri sidang Parlimen pertamanya.

“Saya masih ingat lagi satu kejadian pada 1964, ketika itu saya baru memenangi pilihan raya pertama saya. Dia (Dr Siti Hasmah) pula sedang menunggu masa melahirkan Mukhriz. Saya sedang bersiap sedia untuk menghadiri sidang Parlimen saya yang pertama, tiba-tiba air ketuban dia sudah pecah. Tetapi, dia beriya-iya suruh saya pergi juga. Bayangkan ketika itu perjalanan dari kedah ke Kuala Lumpur ambil masa yang lama dan saya hanya dapat melihat mereka (Dr Siti Hasmah dan Mukhriz) selepas dia bersalin. 
“Memang saya rasa bersalah, tetapi kami berpendapat dalam rumah tangga, suami dan isteri perlu saling memahami. Paling penting, kita tidak terlalu mendesak masa untuk bersama, tetapi tidak bermakna sampai tiada masa langsung untuk keluarga,” katanya.
Ini diakui sendiri Dr Siti Hasmah. Sebagai isteri, katanya, beliau memahami sidang berkenaan amat penting bagi suaminya, menyebabkan beliau sendiri menyuruh Dr Mahathir segera berangkat memandangkan perjalanan yang terpaksa dilalui agak jauh.
“Pada tahun pertama saya gagal, dia nak ajar saya fizik secara percuma, jadi rapatlah, ketika itulah saya mula rapat dengannya” – Tun Dr Siti Hasmah.
Beliau meluahkan perasaan beliau kepada Bonda Tun Dr Siti Hasmah dalam hujan …
Mereka pergi ke suatu tempat, kemudian Tun Mahathir menghantar Tun Siti ke stesen bas.
Disitu, Tun Mahathir nampak Tun Siti dalam hujan apabila dia sudah berlalu pergi terus kembali ke Tun Siti Hasmah.
“Why you came back? U are wet!” Tanya Tun Siti Hasmah
“I came back because I love you” balas Tun Dr Mahathir.
Bukan cinta pandang pertama 
MEREKA berkenalan ketika menuntut di Kolej Perubatan King Edward di Singapura pada 1947. DrMahathir mengakui, cinta mereka bukan cinta pandang pertama, namun menjadi rapat kerana sering belajar bersama.
SALING memahami. 
“Dia satu-satunya pelajar wanita Melayu, sebab itulah kot (jatuh hati). Ada enam pelajar lelaki lain, semuanya sentiasa bersedia hendak tolong angkat beg dia. Saya pula dibesarkan dalam keluarga yang ramai lelaki, jadi tidak tahu bagaimana hendak ‘tegur’ perempuan. Saya tengok kawan lain tolong angkat beg dia, saya pun buat juga. Tetapi, saya selalu ajar dia (pelajaran), itu yang mungkin membuatkan hubungan kami menjadi rapat,” katanya..
Mereka mendirikan rumah tangga pada usia agak lewat bagi zaman itu, iaitu Dr Mahathir pada usia 30 tahun, manakala Dr Siti Hasmah, 29 tahun.
Dr Siti Hasmah berkata, kelewatan itu disebabkan mereka hanya berkahwin selepas menamatkan pengajian dan housemanship bagi memenuhi permintaan bapanya.
“Ayah saya tahu mengenai hubungan kami itu. Jadi, satu hari dia telefon saya dan kami berbual mengenainya. Dia minta saya berjanji supaya menamatkan pengajian dulu sebelum berkahwin. Suami saya tamat pengajian pada 1953, dan saya pula pada 1955. Setahun kemudian kami berkahwin,” katanya.
Tun Dr Mahathir & Tun Dr Siti Hasmah
Lumrah bercinta, ada pasang surutnya. Begitu juga dengan perhubungan mereka sebelum berkahwin. Ketika ditanya mengenai cabaran itu, Dr Siti Hasmahtidak menafikan sepanjang persahabatan itu mereka berdepan pelbagai dugaan, tetapi demi janji yang dipegang sejak sekian lama, mereka berjaya melaluinya.
Malah, Dr Mahathir turut mengakui seperti pasangan lain ketiak muda dulu, cemburu tetap ada, terutama apabila melihat Dr Siti Hasmah dengan lelaki lain.
“Ada juga masa berkawan dulu, saya nampak dia berbual dengan lelaki lain, saya cemburu. Begitu juga apabila dia melihat saya bersama wanita lain. Tetapi, lama kelamaan kami faham sebenarnya tidak ada apa yang berlaku. Jadi, perhubungan itu berkekalan,” katanya.
Dr Siti Hasmah akui, sepanjang perkahwinanmereka, beliau sudah masak dengan tumpuan yang diterima suaminya khususnya daripada orang ramai. Malah, sering kali juga beliau terpaksa ke tepi bagi membolehkan orang ramai yang ingin merakam gambar kenangan bersama Dr Mahathir.
“Pernah sekali ketika kami ke Suria KLCC, ada sekumpulan wanita yang terserempak dengan kami berasak-asak hendak mengambil gambar bersama dia (Dr Mahathir) sehingga saya terpaksa bergerak jauh ke tepi. Kebetulan saya terpandang ada pasangan yang ketika itu berada pada tingkat atas melihat senario itu dan mereka ketawa melihat keadaan berkenaan, lalu menjerit ke arah saya ‘tak jealous ke Tun?’. 
“Saya juga ketawa kerana apa yang berlaku itu perkara biasa bagi saya. Tiada cemburu, kerana kami saling memahami,” katanya.
Pastikan perselisihan faham tidak berpanjangan
Melihat pasangan berkenaan yang saling usik mengusik sepanjang wawancara dilakukan, jelas sekali keserasian dan kebahagiaan antara mereka. Kini sudah lebih 50 tahun pasangan bahagia itu melayari bahtera perkahwinan bersama.
Namun, Dr Siti Hasmah akui, seperti pasangan lain, perselisihan faham tetap ada. Bak bait puitis lagu Seniman Agung Tan Sri P Ramlee, sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pula manusia biasa. Begitu jugalah dengan Dr Mahathir dan Dr Siti Hasmah.
“Dia selalu komplen, saya lambat (bersiap terutama untuk menghadiri majlis). Kita ni wanita, biasalah banyak barang yang perlu seperti beg dan aksesori yang bersesuaian dengan baju. Jadi itulah yang lewat bila hendak cari yang sesuai. Suami saya pula seorang yang organize. Setiap malam, dia sudah sediakan semua keperluan seperti baju dan kasut untuk keesokan hari. 
“Selain itu, sebagai ibu, kita selalu ada benda yang hendak arah anak sebelum keluar dari rumah, terutama pada waktu malam dan saya juga ada tabiat, mesti tutup lampu bilik sebelum keluar. Jadi, selalu kena marah, masuk kereta masam muka danapabila tiba di majlis tidak bertegur sapa. Namun, akhirnya saya sedar kesilapan yang dilakukan dankami berbaik semula. Tetapi, bagi menyelesaikan masalah ‘lambat’ itu saya suruh dia (Dr Mahathir) yang tutup lampu,” katanya tersenyum memandang suaminya mengenang peristiwa lalu.
Menariknya, Dr Mahathir berkata, beliau turut mempunyai jalan bagi menyelesaikan masalah berkenaan.
“Sebenarnya, saya seorang yang obses dengan ketepatan masa. Susah nak faham perempuan, ginculah, beg mesti sama warna dengan kasutlah… Oleh kerana dia selalu lambat, saya akan duduk dalam dressing room dan tolong carikan apa yang dia perlukan. Kasut ke, aksesori ke, beg ke, bagi pastikan dia dapat lebih cepat (bersiap),” katanya tersenyum.
Tun Dr Mahathir & Tun Dr Siti Hasmah
Melihat kepada senario hari ini yang mana semakin ramai pasangan baru mendirikan rumah tangga sudah bercerai, Dr Mahathir mengakui sedih dengan keadaan itu. Baginya, perceraian akan meruntuhkan keharmonian keluarga dan mendatangkan lebih banyak masalah khususnya trauma kepada anak-anak.
Beliau berkata, apa yang berlaku hari ini mungkin disebabkan perubahan nilai budaya. Jika dulu, kebanyakan pasangan muda baru berkahwin mendapat perhatian daripada keluarga masing-masing, tetapi hari ini yang mana kebanyakan generasi baru sudah berhijrah ke kota menyebabkan tiada yang memerhati dan memberi nasihat.
“Orang dulu anggap perceraian itu sesuatu yang teruk sekali, tetapi hari ia seperti perkara biasa. Sebaiknya, apabila kita sudah mendirikan rumah tangga dan mempunyai anak, kita perlu memikirkan bahawa kita sudah mempunyai tanggungjawab. Jika kita ada rasa tanggungjawab itu, kita akan fikir caranya untuk berbaik semula apabila bergaduh, bukan terus bercerai. 
“Sedih mengenangkan ramai wanita yang menjadi ibu tunggal. Saya berasal daripada keluarga yang konservatif. Bagi kami, kita hanya ada seorang isteri saja. Bapa saya berkahwin dua, tetapi dia berkahwin dengan isteri keduanya selepas emak, isteri pertamanya meninggal dunia. Paling penting, kita perlu saling bertoleransi dan jangan berharap supaya pasangan anda menjadi seperti apa yang anda mahukan. Dia ada personaliti sendiri, jadi anda perlu bersedia menerima kekurangan masing-masing,” katanya.
Paling penting, kata Dr Siti Hasmah, perlu saling memahami dan bertoleransi. Jangan hanya kerana perkara remeh membawa kepada perceraian kerana kesannya ialah anak yang kehilangan kasih sayang ibu dan bapa.
Translations:
They met when they were studying in King Edward Medical College in Singapore  1947. Dr Mahathir admits that their love is not love at first sight, but they became close when they studied together.
Understands each other
“She was the only Malay women there, maybe thats why I fell in love with her. There were six other guys, all of them were willing to help her carry her bag. I was brought up in a family where there are many brothers, so I don’t know how to approach women. When I saw my friends help her carry the bag, I did the same. But I always help to teach her some subjects, perhaps thats what brought us closer” said Tun.
“In my first year, he wants to teach me physic for free, so we became close, that’s when it all began.” said Tun Dr Siti Hasmah
He confessed his feelings to her in the rain. They went to a place to send off Tun Siti Hasmah to the bus station. There, Tun Mahathir saw her in the rain, and he quickly go back to her.
“Why did you came back? You are wet!” said Tun Siti Hasmah
“I came back because I love you” said Tun Dr Mahathir
They got married at a late age during that time, whereby Dr Mahathir was 30 and Dr Siti Hasmah,  was 29 years old.
Dr Siti Hasmah said, they only got married after she finish her studies, and housemanship to fulfil her father’s wish.
“My father knew about our relationship. So, one day, he called me and we had a long talk about that. He ask me to promise that I finish my studies first before getting married. My husband finish his studies in 1953, and I finished mine in 1955. One year later, we got married.”  , she added.
Seeing the sweet couple poking fun at each other through out the interview, reflects their happiness even after 50 years of marriage.
However,  Dr Siti Hasmah admits that  just like other couples, misunderstanding cannot be avoided. Same goes with them,
“He always complains that I get ready late, (especially when we attend any events). For us, women, its normal that we have a lot of stuff to do like our bag & acessories have to match with our dress. So thats why it takes some time to find the right match. My husband is an organized person, every night he have make sure his clothes and shoes are ready for the next day.
Other than that , as a mother, we have things to ask our children to do before we leave the house, especially at night and I have the habit to switch off our room’s light before we go out. So, I always gets a scold from him, and went into the car grumpy at him and when we reach the event, we don’t talk to each other. But when I realize my mistakes, all is well again.
But to solve the ‘late’ problem, I will ask my husband to switch off the lights” said Tun Dr Siti Hasmah smiling.
Interestingly,  Dr Mahathir said, he also have his own way to solve the problem.
“Actually, I am very obsessed with punctuality. Its hard to understand women, with lipsticks, bag must match with their shoes, and all that. Because of her, I always run late, so I will sit at the dressing room and help her find the things she needs like shoes, accessories or handbag, to make sure she can get ready early” he smiled.
Looking at today’s scenario whereby there is a lot of couples who newly got married and now have divorced, Dr Mahathir admits , it saddens him. To him, divorce will break the family institution and will bring more problem especially a trauma towards the children.
He said, what is happening today may be because of the changes in culture values. Back then, newly married couple gets a lot of attention from their family, but now,whereby the new generation have moved to the city, make them less being observed and advised by the elders.
“The older generation back then sees divorce as the worst thing possible could happen, but today it is seen as something ‘normal’. It is good that when we get married and have children, we think of the responsibility that we now carry on our family. If there is a sense of responsibility , we will think of ways to make up than break up, and not simply get a divorce as an easy way out.
It is sad that a lot of women become widows. I came from a conservative family. To us, we only have one wife. My father married, twice, but he only remarries after  my mom, the first wife, passed away.
What is important is that, we have to tolerate with each other and don’t just hope that our spouse be what we want them to be. They also have their own personality, so we have to be prepared to accept each other’s imperfections” says Tun Dr Mahathir.
UPDATED: Modified & translated from peribadidrmahathir & ohcikgu
Tun Dr Mahathir & Tun Dr Siti Hasmah, love story

Monday, February 17, 2014

Married or not… you should read this

Jumpa story nih dekat facebook tadi.


Author: Kimmies Floral

When I got home that night my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking about divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Pure Matrimony

Cr : http://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/2013/12/married-read/

TRAGEDI KEBAKARAN PUSAT TAHFIZ

Assalamualaikum, Baru baru ini, kita digemparkan dengan satu tragedi kebakaran yang berlaku di Pusat Tahfiz Darul Quran ittifaqiyah di ...

Kisah dula kala